the frequently asked question at Ied Fitri Moment
There is unique traditions called 'Mudi' or back to hometown traditions. Not only between cities, islands in Indonesia, but usually Indonesian citizens who live in overseas also doing mudik.
The essential of Mudik routinity is to meet all family member in their hometown, reunite and seek for forgiveness..in indonesian way we called it silaturahmi.
Mudik is also 'expensive' moment because its only happen once in a year, peoples save their money along one year and spend it on transportation cost, custome wear, food, and holiday cost.
Despite Mudik is very happy moment for almost all Indonesian citizens, but something is tickle me when I saw the facebook status of my friends.
At last Ied moment, almost all of my facebook friendlist's status telling about mudik activities i.e. check in somewhere via foursquare, tagged every name of their family member in one occasion, uploading family picture or just posting about how happy and gratefull they were because already met their long-distance family.
But, exceptionally, few of my friends's status is frustated. I guessing why is like that? Why they frustated when they able to met their families that one-in a year occasion, and in fact the answer is because they bothered of being frequently asked the BIG question.
The BIG question is When you are M**ried? Why dont you get M**ried?What Are you waiting for to get M**ried?
Like one person is not enough, every one keep asking that Q...and like at ordinary day never been asked, the happy occasion is ruined by that Q :p
For people at my age-the golden age 24-35 years, the most frequently asked question is that M-thing. And when we already M, the question didnt stop yet. the question continue with how many kid do you have? are you pending to having a child? - how their kids progress? how's kid's school or at 'realistic' family will be asked-how much you earn per month? what achievement? how many 'properties' do you have?
That questions, firstly is just want-to-know intention but then we assumed it as 'social control' to make sure that our life is based on 'common track'.
Moreover,the M question is not too critical. But for single person...and when they at their golden age will be asked...the M question over and over, kinda frustating..like we want to shout "hey...dont u see that I want to get married soon too?the conditions is just not able to make it true."
Yup, my several friends experienced that last Ied holiday. Some of them weren't feel comfortable of that question and choose not to gather with their big family just to avoid that BIG question. Some of them (which usually too frequent to be asked over year and year) just answer calmly - wish me soon-
Luckily none of my big family has been asking me that BIG question and may be if they ask i will answer "Dont u see that my face still under age of married?" guess it will shut their from the M question...hehehehe...
One funny incident is when my friend asked by his grandma and being lectured about live in this world. "Why you dont get M**ried?" asked the grandma.
My friend answer slightly. "Just havent met the right one."
"You know child, live in this world is just temporary, the immortal life is life after we die, so why you so busy to secure your financial and delay to get m**ried. FYI, money didnt brought to life after we die, but we may bring our spouse to life after die."The lecture is begin. "why you chase something that secure your temporary live than your immortal life?"
Well, the last question is deep though. "But how if we already try to search the right one but havent met her yet? Not because I am so workaholics, but God havent allow me to meet my love of my life."My friend defend.
"Are you sure? God didnt allow you?you might have meet your love of your life, but you didnt notice."
"How would I know?"
"You know for sure, no need the chemistry like they teach you on the movie, in a real life you just need someone who proper to your religion, family and then your self to get m**ried with."She answer wisely. "You might have hundreds standard of your dream girl, but all you need is just a company that understand your vision and want to hold your hand along that vision, all of the other thing will follow, eventually you will understand her and she will understand you more than you understand your self."
Well,,,quite long lecture hehehehe but the point of Grandma want to told is what you really need from a life partner is someone that fit to your religion, family and your vision. The characters is certain last number. Character is developed over time. the 'property' can be earn over time..And the point is love is not the most important thing to deal with (hmm.....I quite oppose this one-I am romance lover).
But the main objective why i write this is because I want to make a better understanding to the two party-the asker and the not yet m**ried person. Asker ask the M question is just about the curiosity (to piss you off hehehe) and (with the positive thinking) remind us about the importance of getting M**ry so we-the (happy) single person didnt need to be frustated. But for the asker, please be notice that people must be frequently asking the unm**ried and didnt need additional person (mean you) to remind. You dont have to be the ass to ruin your single pal's mood :). Save your good (read : annoyed) intention to remind them, people must be know their own age limitation, and what age they are (even they pretend to be young forever) and certainly they want to get m**ried like you :).
Thats all folks. You might also like:
How to talk to your man
I won't give Up