Born Alone, Die Alone
Have u ever left by someone?
I'm 100% sure, somebody did_ever leave us_whether (s)he significant or not for us
Last couple days, i have an intense talks with my best friends about how hard she tried to moving on. Just realize, she's not the only one felt that, but i have several friends whoose very struggle to moving on (read : willing to but cant get over)
Folks said breaking up is easy but moving on is the hardest past. Easy because we can breaking up by silly reason like emotions, anger, or any other insignificant cause, but when we really separated from our most important people (once) in our life, we might need hundred days to really leaving him/her behind.
The tangled problem is when we are separated by third cause-not Third person. Third cause moreover like not suported parent, different culture/religion, Etc.
Funny thing that I barely cry when I am break up with someone. Once I cried because I am too mad. Not because I'm fine, but my self-denial process is way too long. I am not strong (by not crying) but I am just running away. As for me, it took a very long time for healing. I might be lonely, but I keep occupied my self with travelling, or chatting with my pals. I might be want to cry but I choose to laugh and curse my self being too weak. I might missing someone who already left me-but i let my self bleeding than call him back. My self healing process is so not recommended, it is too slow and not healthy.
Once I remember my friend said to me : "We are born alone, and die alone. People come and go in our life, it is natural selection. When somebody leave from our life, YOU MIGHT BE VERY BROKEN INSIDE, but 100% YOU WILL BE SURVIVE unless your scumbag brain thinks another options."
In harsh way, she is darn right. That's the way logic works. We live well before somebody come, and we will be back at the state when (s)he's not exist and in fact we will be ok (though hurts).
So..what is the best way to move on? I might be not the one whom authorized to say this, but yes a clean break is the best way to move on.
Moving on mean that we left our box of memories in past and bring a new empty box of memories today. We may remember sometime and make us melancholia, but just thinking so ....then what? if we want to chase him/her back, so do it...but if we think we can be with her/him...just clean break please...
I have two person (on opposite side) that struggle with their moving on process. One is the one who i already told in epic love story. He waited for several years, couldn't handle his broken heart and chose to waiting for her. The result? yes, he finally marry to her long-wait-love. Notice that during his waiting time, he keep trying to win his love's heart.
The second one, she already broke up with her bf like 10 years ago, yet till now she's still unable to get over him (because of third cause and not yet clean break). She just simply said that she can't lie to her heart.
Despite it is right or wrong, black or white, i choose the grey one. It is human right to waiting someone and dying in process. But one thing for sure, time is ticking out. I don't say she's unhappy with her waiting process, she's ok, very ok, and living well. People sees her like a fool (i admit sometimes I do too), and push her to moving on eventually. What I really see from her is..yes she is okay after post-broken heart process. So it is right that broken heart can't kill her, she's survive, she doesnt lost her soul but unfortunately she lost her ability to love somebody else once again. Thats the scary thing about not moving on! Whatever that hers choice, but I am bit mind with the concept of spending our whole time alone. Just like my friend said before, "we born alone, die alone, so why we decide to spent our whole life alone?"
I won't lie that being alone sometimes fun. I also won't lie that lonely is suck! Just differentiate between alone and lonely! Also my friend said that she never feel lonely, but i sincerely doubt that. There always a moment that we really need someone, but nobody instead family, bestfriend could fill that position. Right beside our heart.
So what I really want to say in here is...Yes, we born alone, die alone but we can spent our time in life by spending with someone whom own our heart. If someone left us, just do clean break if we see there zero chance to being with that people, and than moving on. Broken heart won''t kill us, but with not moving on will kill our ability to love somebody else whom deserved (yay!!applied to me tooo!!!!)
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